Research
"Going Back to My Roots Project"
What is your project about?
- The Development of a carnival in conjunction with Black History month for 2005.
- Organise an African Caribbean horticultural show, young people will grow and present a Caribbean roots and vegetable food show by growing their own fruit, flowers and vegetables, working in partnership with the African/Caribbean elderly community.
Involving Young People - How will the project involve young people?
- Education involvement
- Understanding cultural identity
- Learning how to appreciate the elderly community
- Dressmaking
- Steel bands
- Face painting
- Make up
How the idea for the project came about?
- After interviewing young people who came through The Respect Counselling and mentoring project, where a group of young African/Caribbean young people, who wanted to gain knowledge and awareness of their cultural identity, set out to allow people to develop self motivation, self respect and a positive image about themselves and their community.
Heritage Focus
- We will grow African Caribbean food in a greenhouse learning about the heritage of cultural food from the Caribbean.
- Make over of the yard into a greenhouse, painting the walls and growing fruit and vegetables.
- Learning about grown food through individuals known locally, such as the Caribbean ‘veggie-man, who delivers food in the Bolton area.
Working In Partnership
- Working with Bolton Libraries African Caribbean Centre
- Speaking with elders who work as role models to young people
- Production of video and media
- Possibly working with the Octagon Theatre and Bolton Racial Equality Council
- Organising trips to cultural events i.e. black hair and fashion show, black history mastery summer festival, a specialist UK holiday weekend break from a Caribbean prospective which will help young people become aware of their cultural roots
- By actively involving other communities and organisations to become part of the steering group and sharing their skills with the above group.
In Praise of Black Fathers
I think the biggest problem is how society looks at Black men and how Black men look at themselves. "Ain't I a woman too?". In 1853 Abolitionist leader Sojourner Truth asked this question. She knew that the American society did not regard a Black woman as a woman. The question could be easily asked today by Black fathers. "Ain't I a father too"?
Just as America pretended that Black women did not exist, it has done the same with Black fathers. Browse through any bookstore and count how many books there are on Black fathers. I did. There were none. In the growing number of books on fathering, there were no specific references to the problems of Black fathers. Yet, in those same books there were chapters on "single fathers," "gay fathers," "teen fathers," "step fathers," "adoptive fathers," "new fathers," and "old fathers." In the books on fatherhood, dozens of organizations, support groups, and councils for fathers were mentioned. There were none for Black fathers.
The books listed a variety of tapes, videos, films, magazines as well as news and feature articles on the problems of fathers. Only a handful concerned Black men. None focused on Black men as fathers. Even Black publications such as Essence, Ebony, and Jet have published articles only occasionally on Black fathers. The books by Black writers are mostly recounts of personal remembrances of their fathers. I was hardly surprised by this.
American society wrapped its tight cloak of invisibility around Black fatherhood during slavery. At that time wives were separated from their husbands. Children were brutally torn from their fathers and sold. Most slavemasters considered marriage a nuisance and they discouraged it. If that was true, then how could Black families be families? How could Black fathers be fathers? Yet in spite of history, many were. No heroic sagas or tales were written about these men. No tributes were paid to them. So the myth grew that they did not exist.
But they did. Black fathers had families. And they cared about them. Black fathers took great risks and made sacrifices to free their wives and children from bondage. Some physically rescued them. Others bought them. They were driven by a sense of loyalty and love. They were desperate to fulfill their responsibilities as fathers.
Following emancipation, they made their marriages legal. So many that in one North Carolina county a former slave woman complained: "Everybody's getting married and my old man can't get the money." It was that way for decades after slavery.
In Harlem in 1925, more than six out of seven Black homes had two parents. In 1960, more than 80 percent of Blacks were married and living together. And then came sociologist Daniel Patrick Moynihan. In 1965, he investigated the Black family and called it "a tangle of pathology." Why? Because there were too few fathers in the home.
The Black father became the perfect foil for America's neglect of the Black poor. If Blacks were destitute, it was because Black men deserted the home. If Blacks committed crime, it was because Black men were ignorant and irresponsible. If Blacks took drugs and were abusive, it was because Black men had no sense of self-worth. If they failed it was their own fault.
Many Blacks challenged Moynihan. They accused him of juggling figures, using faulty research methods and of ignoring the three out of four Black men that were not absent fathers. But Moynihan prevailed. Black fathers were now officially labeled "derelict." Often myths become reality. The reality for many Black families is that Black men do desert their homes. They make babies that they don't take care of. They fill the jails and prisons. They join gangs and commit acts of violence. They die young from drugs, alcohol, and disease. From conception to adulthood they are forced to run the gauntlet of American abuses. That's part of the story.
Many Black fathers do stay in the home. They sacrifice to provide the necessities for their wives and children. They overcome mountainous obstacles to build strong relationships with their loved ones. They roll up their sleeves, put their chin to the grindstone and go forward. Black fathers want their sons to smile into the camera on the sidelines of football games, wave and say, "hi dad." They are men like my father who, as he nears the ninth decade of his life, looked me in the eye and said, "My children have been my life, never forget that." I didn't.
My father stood on the firm foundation of history and tradition. He drew strength from Black leaders like Henry Highland Garnet, Martin Delaney, Frederick Douglass, W.E.B. DuBois, Booker T. Washington, Marcus Garvey, A. Phillip Randolph, Paul Robeson, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, and Elijah Muhammad. Their contributions have enriched not only the Black experience, but America's social tapestry. They were fathers who never lost sight of the importance of family.
In Black Fatherhood : The Guide to Male Parenting, I talked with fathers who enriched their families. The men I interviewed span several generations. They have different incomes and occupations. They are married, separated, and divorced. They raise their children alone. They know the joy and pain of relationships. They experience poverty and prosperity. They face discrimination. They confront violence, gangs, drugs and sexual risks. They make hard choices about their children's education, health and welfare. They tell how they are bringing their families through the challenge of American problems. It is critically important in these difficult days for Black families to have stories that do not talk about defeatism and despair, but about optimism and hope, and most of all about success. We must finally lift the cloak of invisibility from Black fathers.
Parents
Black dads - Written by Melvyn Davies, Boys2MEN project
You have a special role to play in the development of your children. The importance of a loving and supportive father figure cannot be over estimated.
The greatest gift a father can give to his children are the gifts of:
- self-respect
- a sense of worth
- pride in oneself
- a strong identity.
- Cultural identity.
What is the cultural identity of a man whose ancestors were from Africa, parents are from the Caribbean, but who was born here, in the UK?
Some black men refer to themselves as African, others African-Caribbean, whilst others refer to themselves as British. This confusion comes on top of trying to figure out what it means to be black, a man, and ultimately, a father.
The confusion often stems from a reluctance to embrace a country where it’s hard to feel a sense of belonging. Whenever black fathers are talked about, it’s usually in relation to "problem fathers" who may be absent, abusive, "deadbeat dads", or "baby fathers".
But the reality is that the majority of black fathers are committed, responsible, and live with their children. As one of these fathers you can help to build a strong sense of identity in your children by teaching them about their history, letting them know about your values and staying involved as they grow up.
Being a black dad.
Having recently entered into the realms of black fatherhood for the first time, I have tried to learn the lessons from my own experiences of being parented. The first generation of our parents that came to England during the Windrush era, brought with them values that had been instilled in them from an early age. Second and third generation descendants growing up in Britain, have to contend with the traditional values of their parents and the different value systems that exist here in the UK. As in many households, my father was the disciplinarian. My memories of growing up with my father were that he was not particularly good at showing his emotions in conventional ways, but nevertheless, I knew he loved me.
I too am the disciplinarian with my own son, but am much more open with my emotions. I believe we must learn the many important positive lessons from our own childhoods (be they conventional or not) and unlearn the negative ones that are otherwise destined to be repeated. By promoting positive images of black fathers we start to dismantle an important negative perception that left unchallenged becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Time is never wasted.
The relationship between father and son, and father and daughter, is a special one especially in today’s society where our children have many role models who lack any ethical virtue. We must maintain relationships with our children at all costs whatever the personal circumstances we might find ourselves in.
Just let them know you love them and care about them and want them to achieve something with their lives. Go to watch them play sports or attend parents’ evenings – sometimes what you do says that you care more than words can.
The time spent by fathers playing football, taking children swimming and just having fun with children paves the way for them to establish supportive and nurturing relationships and to maximise their potential.
Spend some time to teach your children about their history and give them a clear sense of themselves. This time you spent with your sons and daughters is never wasted. It helps them become happy and confident adults.
Black and Asian Families in Bradford are to get more Support after the announcement of new Funding from the Government
Fathers can sometimes experience a difficulty in knowing what their role is.
Over half a million pounds will be shared between eleven voluntary organisations in the Yorkshire and Humber area.
In Bradford The Children's Society have received funding of £40,000 for the next three years and are using it to develop networks to support fathers in the district.
Chris McKie, Project Leader from the Children's Society says:
"We've been working with Primary Schools in Bradford to develop a parenting support network, and we found that most of the people interested in the work in schools were mothers.
"We were concerned that we weren't reaching fathers so we undertook a small research project and asked fathers what support they would like. They said to us that they thought most of the childcare support was geared towards mothers and they would like to be more involved in the child's upbringing.
"Generally suddenly becoming a parent is a hard transfer for all parents to make, sometimes for fathers, there can be a difficulty in knowing what their role is."
The Children's Society is planning to employ a worker to develop father-friendly services, in conjunction with local primary schools.
A Father's Take on the Pain of Single Parenthood - by Rick Dunn
Unfortunately, I've come to learn, firsthand, why many single mothers stay ticked off with their babies' daddies. My wife and I have been separated for most of this year.
She moved to Snellville, where she attends DeVry Institute, and decided she doesn't want to come back. Meanwhile, I'm here with our three school-aged children ages 5, 7 and 15. The kids see their mother every other weekend, but the rest of the time it's three-on-one, and I'm the one.
To be honest, I've come to really enjoy the role of "Mr. Mom". I was already a good cook; now I'm a better one. I've got a long way to go on house keeping, but that is improving, too. However, what I enjoy the most is being the center of the children's universe.
They know that they can depend on me for every need including eating, clothing, nursing in times of illness, family vacation, education and spiritual development.
My rewards are an abundance of hugs and kisses topped off with "I love you, Daddy!. Their gentle touches and heart-spoken words make even the most difficult of days bearable.
But, it is those difficult days that drive the single parent to curse the one who has essentially abandoned her or his parental responsibilities.
When more than one child comes at a parent at the same time, each with a different need, one can get pretty upset when the other person who should be responsible for nurturing their offspring is unavailable to respond to an SOS for help. I know the same thing can happen in a two-parent home, but at least sometimes the second in-home parent can be relied upon.
Additionally, financial assistance from the absent parent is, at best, minimal or, worst, non-existent. That means an already limited income is stretched to the max. It also means, in too many households, the children grow up in poverty. Meanwhile, Mr. or Mrs. Missing-in-Action is enjoying nights out on the town, entertaining new friends, going to dinner or taking in the latest movie.
Another tough aspect of being a single father comes when one of the kids is sick. Here you are, doing your absolute best to comfort that child and still attend to all the other parental duties, and the other spouse calls acting all concerned. As she attempts to give advice on how to care for the child, a dad cannot help but ask "If you love them that much, why aren't you here helping me take care of them?"
But the absolute hardest part occurs when the kids are crying their eyes out for, or otherwise expressing their pain over, their missing mother. You hold them and kiss away their tears. In between their sobs, they mutter "I miss mommy. I love her. I wish she would come back home".
You offer words of comfort and reassurance while deep down inside your broken heart develops another crack. You close your eyes, fight back your own tears and reflect on the child's words. Then you silently admit to yourself, "Yeah, me too. I miss mommy. I love her. I wish she would come back home".
[Rick Dunn, a free-lance writer and radio talk-show host, owns an Athens-based consulting company. Contact him by e-mail: rickdunnsenior@yahoo.com]
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